Tired of struggling with technology? I’ve been trying to figure out how to 
email posts from my cell phone to the SWWAN blog since I put it on WordPress, and I just keep getting sidetracked because it seems so complicated. It’s frustrating and kind of embarrassing, since I’m normally pretty with it with technology. Could have something to do with the fact that I’ve just completed a full purge of my household and a move into what I hope will be my last home.
Did you ever keep putting some project off because it required too much prep work? Feel. Overwhelmed when facing some task? What do you do? Sometimes I enlist help–a friend or relative perhaps. When I was married, of course, I’d want to hire someone, but my husband would say he’d do the things I felt too challenged by. But guess what? A lot of times he’d procrastinate worse than I did. I couldn’t figure out why someone would say, no, don’t hire someone, I can do that and then not do it. When I asked my father about it, he surprised me by suggesting that maybe he just didn’t know how to do it. And here I thought he was doing it to annoy me, and all those times it may have been because he couldn’t admit his ignorance.
Surprisingly sometimes—when it’s over and I’ve got the thing done—it turns out not to have been as complex as I thought it would be. And then I’m sorry I resisted. But mostly I’m just really glad it’s done.
I’m typing this with two thumbs on my tiny cell phone keyboard. Now, if only I knew how to email it to the blog instead of emailing it to myself and then having to transfer it…
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I can’t help but smile — a huge loud smile — at this. I hate the new technology so much I won’t even get myself to the point of having to learn until pushed to the wire.
But I do have a thought about why your ex did not follow through on helping when he said he would. It could be as your father said, he didn’t know how, but it could also be, what I write in my Why Don’t You Understand? A Gender Relationship Dictionary (www.GenderDictionary), that it goes on a different timetable list than you had. Women end up Nagging (one of the words in the dictionary)because the man and woman have not set a clear “This is what I want and by when can you do it?” Men say they’ll do it but don’t put it high on their list of things they need to do. Women ask again, men again say they’ll get to it, but since it’s not a priority for the, it’s not set in their minds as something that has to be done by a certain time. The woman keeps asking, the man keeps saying he’ll do it. And the cycle evolves into an unpleasant “Nagging.” Doing it yourself is one way of handling it, having the man set a time by which it’ll be done so you don’t hae to keep asking, is a second way of handling it. And, not having the man in your life is another way of handling it!!
I love your description of the options, Karen. For sure, it’s only the woman who’s in the relationship who can make the call–and make the choice.
Love your book, by the way. Everybody who’s involved with men–no kidding–should not only read it but keep it available on a handy shelf.