Leave It to Beaver family values aren’t outdated

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Leave it to beaver_Game_Board_01Watching an episode of the old Leave it to Beaver TV series from the 50s. Beaver is showing his mom some beautiful drawings he found in a sketchbook. Mom tells him they’re his father’s work. And Beaver decides he’ll ask his dad to draw his school poster for him. Mom, by the way, is dressed in an elegant shirtwaist dress with a ring of pearls adorning her slender neck and nonchalantly dabbing furniture polish on her perfectly clean rag and tenderly dusting the top of an elegant cabinet in the front hall. Looks just like the way most moms live today…not.

The lesson of the show was great. Kids need to do their own posters for school–not get their parents to do the work. But there was an interesting scene in the classroom. After two girls volunteered to dress dolls up in costumes of the American revolution, a boy raised his hand, too. The teacher sternly corrected the boy. “That’s not funny,” she said. “Everybody else thought so,” said the boy.

Makes me think of the changes that have gone on in our culture in the several decades I’ve been an adult. Interestingly, many modern parents who offer dolls to their young sons find the boys still tend to choose guns and tanks anyway—or at least dolls that turn into huge-monster fighting guys.

But the most beautiful part about Leave it to Beaver is how much the dad respects the mom. I’ve always remembered a quote I read years ago. “The best gift a man can give his children is to love their mother.” Beaver and Wally’s dad loved and respected their mom.

That’s one thing a child might miss when being raised by a single mom alone. But, oh, the wonderful things that baby may have with its single mom can be forces just as powerful–for the positive or the negative. It’s more about the mental health and self-esteem of the custodial parent, no matter what the marital situation.

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admin, October 20th 2009 | Posted in single mom, single mothers, single woman, single women, single working mom, single working mother, Uncategorized

On orders, women will torture as readily as men

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Nazi Germany stamp - wikipedia_300pxMost of us have heard of the experiment done in the 60s where a bunch of students (mostly male) were asked to administer increasingly stronger shocks to a “subject” in the next room (another student who reacted with screams and begging as the “shocks” grew worse but was really not feeling anything).

A scientist just recently set up the same type of experiment and found that women were just as likely to continue administering the worsening shocks as men were.  Thought processes:

 

 

 

“Everyone was doing it” so it seemed to be okay.

The “victim” was in another room and couldn’t be seen suffering.

Because the authority figure ordered it, the shockers could feel the responsibility was his rather than theirs. “I had to do it. I was following orders.” (Movie: A Few Good Men. Nazi Germany.)

One of the conclusions the scientist reached was that seemingly women can be just as cruel as men, but they don’t often get the opportunity to do it in a public way or on a large scale–because jobs with that kind of power are taken by men.

I’m remembering a line from some movie (if anybody remembers the title, please share). In one scene a wise older black man was talking to his friend (or son or brother). He said something to the effect, “Don’t be so judgmental of white people. If the situation were reversed, that would be us.”

So does it come down to who’s got the raw power? Or is it more about enlightenment? The ability to put yourself in another’s place and apply the Golden Rule, even though it might cost you something. Does it mean any one of us would do anything to preserve our own social standing/reputation? But what if the price is life?

Soldiers—men and women—around the world face these kinds of issues regularly. Check out Demi Moore’s tough performance in the movie GI Jane. The movie Courage Under Fire with Denzel Washington and a surprising Meg Ryan is a powerful story of what a brave female officer went through to defend her right to command—and to protect her men. And here’s a website about women in the military.

Let us pray for all soldiers to be safe, and for days to come when no one will have to make those kinds of choices.

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Barbara Payne, October 20th 2009 | Posted in women relationship with father