Who are you now, and what do you really want?

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Mothers love
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We women—single, single-again, married, cohabiting—all face unique situations and circumstances. But the ways in which any one woman suffers or feels confused or worries or wonders “what’s next” are not so different from those of other women.

Got a newsletter today from Dr. Karen Gail Lewis. She’s a warm and kind professional therapist who helps couples and families but also specializes in helping women who are single, single-again, or thinking about becoming single-again, or who’ve done all that society expected and just don’t know what they want now—she calls them “Empty Nexters.”

Dr. Karen has an interesting list of questions in her newsletter. They’re directed at women who are questioning “what’s next” about their own lives. I’m directly quoting it here so you can respond—in your head, on paper, or in your heart—if any of these questions resonates with you.

  • Think back to childhood, young adulthood. What were some of your dreams back then that you lost along the way?
  • Read magazines and even want ads. See what topics catch your interest. Don’t apply for anything; just be open to see what draws you.
  • Silence the inner voice that says, “I couldn’t,” or “I’d love to, but….”
  • Finish this sentence, “I would love to….” Don’t think about it, just write it out and see what words come.
  • Whose voice is inside your head saying, “You can’t!”?
  • What would your husband and children say if you were to say whatever came at the end of that sentence above?
  • What would your mother, father, siblings say if you were to do something entirely new and exciting with your life now?
  • Give yourself space to flush out old tears – for lost lovers, lost opportunities.
  • Attend a weekend retreat, just for women like you, Empty Nexters, figuring out what comes next.

Dr. Karen’s weekend retreats are specifically designed for women. Even if you don’t end up going to a retreat, she’s very generous about sharing her wisdom. You can read her inspiring words by visiting and subscribing to her newsletter at Dr. Karen Gail Lewis’s website.

Oh, and PS. There’s a special deal on pricing for the retreat—good only until September 15, so check it out today.

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Chicago real estate and single women

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Lincoln Park during the winter.
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Hate the heat. So I thought I’d show you Lincoln Park in the snow.

Growing pains—well, changing pains.  I’m happily settled in my new digs in the busy Lakeview area of Chicago, learning even more about why people love this city.

My condo in Logan Square is on the market. I bought it from a single woman. I owned it as a single woman. And there are two other single-woman-owned units in our beautifully rehabbed building. Chicago—as is the case with most large cities—is a great place to be a single woman. So many job opportunities. So many things to do and places to go and people to meet. Full of adventure, yet not overwhelming. I’ve met and made friends with more single women in the few years since I returned to Chicago than I did in my 33 years in Cleveland.

My granddaughter (she was 3 in July) and I are spending more time together lately while her single-mom Perri is busy working for her real estate customers. How’s the market in your neck of the woods? Perri says it’s still pretty slow in Chicago, except for some precisely circumscribed areas known as “the” hot areas of the city—Lincoln Park and Bucktown being two of them. But even a block or more outside the boundaries of those neighborhoods, she says, sales are still slow.

For more tips about the market, single-mom ideas, fun stuff to do, and ways to make your home more beautiful, subscribe to Perri’s blog, ChicagoLifeandStyleBlog.

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