Abortion vis-a-vis single motherhood

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Interesting interview in the Cornell Sun with a pro-life advocate. Says abortion has become the easy choice for young women who get pregnant–and that abortion betrays feminism.

The woman makes a really important point–women are not adequately supported by our society. Single mothers in particular must generally learn to leap tall buildings just to survive with their child(ren). Saying all single women who get pregnant should become mothers is kind of like saying abstinence-only is a good way to prevent teens from having sex. It’s plain not happening.

Our society not only pays women less but also disapproves of single mothers and denies them access to benefits that most married couples take for granted. Asking a woman to give birth to her accidentally conceived baby no matter what the circumstances is forcing her to start life with her baby with two strikes against them. It’s not surprising that abortion is often the choice. And as the African American pro-lifer–who herself had an abortion when she was young “so my child wouldn’t become a statistic”–rightly points out, nothing stays with a woman like an abortion. So let’s not pretend that it’s an “easy” choice.

Being a single woman today means you’re part of the 51% majority of women in America who are. With numbers like that, it’s time for our society to start finding a new attitude.

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Barbara Payne, April 2nd 2009 | Posted in abortion, African American single mother, African single women/mothers, being single today

Movie review: Door to Door

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Saw this gem of a made-for-cable movie Tuesday night. William H. Macy plays Bill Porter, a guy with cerebral palsy, whose mother believes unquestioningly in his ability to do whatever he wants. The story chronicles his career as a door to door salesman–and the profound effects he has on those he comes in touch with. Five stars for tender, tough and true human relationships.

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Barbara Payne, April 2nd 2009 | Posted in Uncategorized

Men who love and respect women–go forth and multiply!

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You know, I’ve been meaning to get to this all month. And today’s almost the last day–of Women’s History Month. Did you know there’s actually a “national women’s history project“? Yep, visit it and be inspired.

Women–we are such complex and wonderful creatures, are we not? Is it any wonder that there has been so much effort over the centuries to keep women out of power, out of politics, out of sight? I think it was Aristotle or Plato or one of those early wise guys who said, “If woman should ever becomes man’s equal, she will quickly become his superior.” Now just think how long ago that was…

With the rise of increasing numbers of independent single working women, the sight of women being strong and successful in their own right becomes ever more common.

Let us hope that the wise and loving men in our world who give women their due will spread their wisdom and multiply their kind in great numbers. And then we can look forward to the day when the new reality will no longer be considered a threat.

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Barbara Payne, March 30th 2009 | Posted in Aristotle, busy single working women, national women's history project, Plato, women's history month

What makes us want to "be there" for each other?

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What does it take to make people willing to share their weak spots, to make themselves vulnerable? Is it a common bond? Do business people have to get to know each other in social situations in order to develop that feeling? The Chicago NAWBO (National Assn. of Women Business Owners) has put together an Affiliates coalition aimed at bringing together women who work in nonprofits to get to know each other and hopefully share resources. Here’s their latest post on “women in business coalescing.” It’s got to be harder in business to get people to cooperate, especially when some members may share pieces of the target audience. Competitiveness and territoriality are huge factors for many people.

If we think of groups–as in Yahoo! groups and others–we think of people writing and sharing ideas with each other around a particular topic. The topic can be very narrow, say, grandmothers of 2-year-olds sharing stories. Or it can be broad, such as, single working women. In our case, we have members who are divorced women (some of them mothers), single mothers by choice, never-married single women, widows, and every variation possible–some in business for themselves and many working for others. Women in each segment may have different specific issues at different times, while members of all these groups must deal with the realities of being single in a society that’s profoundly focused on couples.

SWWAN is a member of the Affiliates Coalition. We hope to be able to share ideas and learn from other nonprofits as we move forward in creating The SWWAN Foundation, dedicated to empowering and encouraging single working women.

What do you think might encourage women to share and be vulnerable in a business setting?

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Barbara Payne, March 24th 2009 | Posted in Affiliates coalition, Chicago NAWBO, women in business

Movie review: Miss Potter – A remarkable single woman in early 1900s

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Renee Zellweger is adorable, and I’ve seen her play many types of roles very well. In this Golden-Globe-nominated movie, Miss Potter, she plays the irrepressible Beatrix Potter, author of the Tale of Peter Rabbit, living in just-past-Victorian-age England. She plays a single woman who is inspired by her characters, who paints them in beautiful detail, and then writes them into stories. She’s a single woman who determinedly seeks a voice among the 1902 all-male-women-are-not-welcome world of publishing. The story of her adventures in love and business and of how she finally gets published is utterly charming, and so the characters–including her adoring father and her obnoxious mother who keeps trying to marry her off.

Her publisher’s single sister is overjoyed to meet another single woman with a mind of her own; they become best friends. Beatrix is 32 years old and she and her new friend swear they will remain single forever. Her father gently derides her about not marrying the men her mother parades through the living room, and she says: :I won’t be pushed into this. Because I turned down men who were thought suitable because they were just barely acceptable and they could support me, does that mean I’m never to be loved?”

Then when her publisher at last asks her to marry him, she goes to her best friend, her loved one’s brother, and asks, “I know we said we’d never marry, but what do you think?” Her friend says, “Oh rubbish. What else would a single woman say? You have a chance to be loved. Take it.”

I won’t give away the next part, but I think you’ll enjoy this movie a lot.

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Barbara Payne, March 7th 2009 | Posted in Beatrix Potter, single woman author, single women in post-Victorian-age England

How's the economy affecting you?

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Talking with a Wall Street Journal reporter last week about how the current economic madness is affecting single women head-of-households. Here are some thoughts.

  • living on credit cards
  • increasing debt
  • cutting even non-frivolous expenses – e.g., not doing home repairs as soon as discovered b/c of expense
  • searching for bargains in food prices–single women don’t normally have time for that but need now to consider everything
  • eating out less often or not at all
  • going out less often or not at all – single moms especially–going out is doubly expensive b/c of babysitting
  • considering bankruptcy
  • hanging onto less than desirable jobs b/c no others available

What else are you doing that’s different?

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Barbara Payne, March 5th 2009 | Posted in single women economic power, single working women and the economy

Targeting women with sex

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Was watching the NBC Today show on the overhead TV while exercising on Monday morning. They got my attention when they said Internet pornography was a huge business–and for some reason pointed out that 8 out of 10 of the top Internet-porn-buying states gave their electoral votes to McCain. Then I was appalled to see they reported on a recent study that finds women respond well to sexy ads if the product is depicted as a gift from a man–“in a committed relationship.“

Men, it said, prefer sexy ads without the gift idea. So, they concluded, “if you want women to open up their purses, throw in a little commitment.“

Hey, I’m in marketing and I understand wanting to understand the psychology of the customer. But as a woman, the idea of faking commitment–which is a ploy that’s been around since human beings got out of the Garden of Eden and is still in use today–pisses me off. And the idea of formalizing it as a strategy for tricking people into buying things really pisses me off.

Comments welcome.

 

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Barbara Payne, March 4th 2009 | Posted in Uncategorized

Book review: Missy…being single and hard luck in the old West

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Reading an amazing story called Missy by Chris Hannan. It’s about a “flash girl” in the gold/silver rushes of the old West. These were prostitutes who were affiliated with an establishment, as opposed to street walkers. Lots of period dialog and details. Compelling story of a young woman whose mother is a total bust-out–playing like she is a lady but being seriously drunk all the time. Abandoned her daughter at age 13.

The daughter keeps following her around the country trying to help her–because she promised her when she was 10 that she would always take care of her. The daughter is addicted–like so many people of the time, particularly women–to opium in various forms. It was a drugstore remedy available to everyone and cheap. Still the
daughter maintains a semblance of sanity compared to her mom. Many scenes of
violence described with the dispassionate voice of someone who’s simply
used to it. Hard to put down.

Good reminder of some of the progress that’s been made for single working women in our world.

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Barbara Payne, February 27th 2009 | Posted in busy single working women, laudanum, old west, opium addiction, prostitutes

Urgent action call – women deserve better than abstinence-only

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This message may resonate with many single working women. Thanks to the Chicago Foundation for Women for sharing this important information.

Since 1996, the federal government has poured more than $1.5 billion into abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. In 2008 alone, it was $178 million.

President Obama is putting together his proposed budget for 2010, and as he has assured the nation he will be on the lookout for failed programs that deserve to be eliminated. We have an easy cut to suggest: End federal funding for the failed abstinence-only-until-marriage experiment.

Here are some facts for free: Research proves these programs don’t work. The programs prohibit teachers from discussing contraception, except to describe their failure rates. The lesson plans frequently teach young people sexist gender stereotypes and medically inaccurate information.

When should you act? Today.
By the end of February, President Obama plans to send his 2010 budget to Congress.

What can you do? Click here to email the White House now. http://capwiz.com/cfw/issues/alert/?alertid=12722606&external_id=10163.-1757079

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Barbara Payne, February 22nd 2009 | Posted in Uncategorized

SuperBowl ads ignore women

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Thanks to AskPatty for pointing this out on AdWeek. Did you watch the game? Did you see the famed SuperBowl ads?

I was stunned to see in one of the first ones the man is eating something or other (I had to go look it up to remember that it was Doritos) that allows him to make magic things happen–and the first thing he does is cause an attractive woman’s clothes to be stripped off her body. She’s standing there in her black bra, black underpants, and black GARTER BELT and stockings. Huh? What day and age is this?

If nearly half of the SuperBowl audience is women, and those women make 50 to 90% of the buying decisions in any particular sector of this country’s economy, what are you accomplishing by pandering to male fantasies and completely ignoring women’s sensibilities?

Never mind the GoDaddy ad suggesting women should shower together online to entertain male customers. What? I wonder how many of GoDaddy’s customers are women–women who increasingly set up web sites and need hosting and other services.

What’s the conclusion we can reach? That the companies that make the billions of dollars necessary to be able to spend millions on SuperBowl ads know the research–that 38% of the SuperBowl audience is female–and just plain don’t care. We’ve come a long way, baby…not.

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Barbara Payne, February 4th 2009 | Posted in SuperBowl ads, women unimportant
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