Planning to have a baby


A certain percentage of women who are single today will never marry. Some will have long-term relationships and some won’t. Either way, unless they accidentally become pregnant, those who want to have a baby must make a decision at some point to take the plunge into single motherhood.

One single mom I know said she looked around and saw friends not making the decision until their late-30s—and then struggling with fertility issues. She decided she wasn’t waiting that long. If the right guy hadn’t shown up by the time she was 29, she was going for it. She became pregnant immediately via a donor. Then, after the healthiest pregnancy I’ve ever seen—and a delivery that was accomplished completely free of drugs of any kind—she’s now the overjoyed mom of a 9-month-old little girl.

For those who do want to wait, here’s an idea. Got an email the other day from a company called Repromedix. They are marketing a blood/hormone test product that is supposed to help you predict how many eggs you have remaining in your ovaries–considered one important sign of fertility—so you can make a more informed decision about when to try for a pregnancy.

The courage of today’s single women shines as a beacon of strength in our world. Given what many children go through when their parents divorce (1 of every 2 marriages ends this way), I cannot see being born to a single mom as tragic or awful. Too many studies have been done indicating that kids—and this includes boys—with single moms are no worse off socially and emotionally, and may even be far ahead in some measures. Check out Raising Boys: 10 Tips for Single Moms.

For those single women who choose to become moms, my congratulations on your courage. And may you and your children be a lesson in love for all the world to see.

The courage of single moms by choice


It takes courage of the first order to decide to become a single mom. You know that it’s going to be hard for both you and your child, but you know you have so much to give that the baby/child/adult will grow up certain of being loved and with a deep understanding and compassion for those who struggle.

I am very proud of my single daughter who made this courageous choice and was so healthy during her pregnancy that I feared she might have a 15-pound kid. She also delivered baby Sophia totally without drugs and is nursing her on demand so she will have the very best start in life.

Truly life will never be the same for my daughter or, delightedly, for me either. Another soul has joined us in this world to face what life gives, to learn and grow and love. What an honor to be able to share in that joyful adventure.

Couldn’t resist sharing this great photo of my beautiful new grandchild, taken by a professional pet photographer (who also happens to be her proud aunt).