Middle of the night musings


It's like 3 o'clock in the morning. I just sent chatty emails to several friends who'd called yesterday. Does this ever happen to you? I hear from many women over 50 that waking in the middle of the night and being unable to get back to sleep for a couple of hours is not unusual.

And now I'm sitting here writing to the SWWAN blog (from my cell phone because I have a cool portable keyboard I use with it). I don't really want to sit at the computer because I'll get caught up in cleaning out the inbox which will lead to doing all kinds of things–some interesting and some just chores).

Talked to a single woman friend–a SWWAN founding member–last evening about her new business venture. We talked about how tough it can be to be completely on your own–no backup physical, financial or emotional support. It's certainly what makes SWWANs so strong and so creative. When you have limited resources, of necessity you have to be inventive to accomplish your goals.

Remember the line from the movie, When Harry Met Sally? Sally's long-time single friend says to her new fiance, "Promise me I'll never have to be out there again." That's what early love can feel like–a protective cocoon. You feel safe and shielded, or at least not alone in facing life's ups and downs. And having been married for 18 years (divorced now for 25), I can say even when a marriage is not happy, you still have a certain feeling of being protected. There's at least the illusion of security in marriage–even though it can sometimes only be maintained at a huge price. For many divorced SWWANs and an increasing number of ever-single SWWANs, the price was or is too high–in terms of personal autonomy, self-respect, or freedom to grow and be your best self.

The percentages of people marrying has been steadily declining in every state In the U.S. for the past several decades.

Wonder if the pendulum will ever swing back the other way? And what would have to happen to make it so?

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