Single women at Christmas


Here's to hearing angels on high all year long

Single women have pretty much the same array of choices for spending Christmas day as non-singles. Some will spend it with family, some with friends, some alone (e.g., the non-single woman who is estranged or separated from her mate—or wishes she was). Some will get Chinese food and see a movie, some will rest and read, some will clean or perform other chores.  Some will volunteer at soup kitchens. Some will exercise their creativity—cook, write, paint, play music.

Some, like me, will hang out with their grandchildren and see Christmas again through the eyes of the child. Some of us have spent hours planning, shopping, and wrapping. Some have foregone this practice and decided just to share themselves in some way.

Some of us, like me, who are moving, may be practicing the art of letting go—there’s a joy in releasing stuff to do good elsewhere in the universe. I’m pleased that I can give some of my treasured things to my family members this year. This Christmas I decided to do a little of each: “shopping” from my own possessions, wrapping, and writing about my move within Chicago.

Whatever you’re doing this year, try spending a few minutes every hour just stopping and feeling your feelings. Regard them with respect and tenderness. Send love and appreciation to yourself for all that you do, for all that you share with others, and for all you contribute to the world around you. And while you’re doing that, be sure to express your love to people and send appreciation out to all those who touch your  life.

Merry, merry Christmas to all the wonderful single women in the world. Extra good wishes to all the single mothers who work so hard to make Christmas special for their kids.

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Stick to love


Got this quote in the email today. A thought-provoker…

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

What makes people choose hate? Well, for one thing, it can feel very energizing. When we think about it, we can see there’s a big difference in the type of energy you feel with hate than what you feel when practicing appreciation, gratitude and love. Energy comes in the wild, driving kind, the passionate kind that involves all your sexual being–that’s the kind hate summons up. And it can make you feel heatedly alive.

But energy also comes in the quiet, enduring kind. The kind that fuels us through personal health challenges or the protracted illness of a loved one. The kind that helps us get through loneliness or depression. The kind that gets us through life’s rough spots, hopefully in one piece. The kind we feel when we forgive those who do not understand or even acknowledge the challenges we face.

But Dr. King refers to hate as a burden. Yes, the burden of finding fault and blaming others also demands a lot of energy. It’s ironic that we can fire ourselves up with hatred but then must continually pay the price of anger and judgmentalism in order to keep it going. So give yourself a break. Today, just choose love.