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Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) in Chicago...

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It’s the middle of the worst time of the winter–and this Chicago winter weather’s a real bear so far! Two feet of snow in one day; dirty, ice-encrusted mountains now of three and more feet high—even close to three stories in some of the big parking lots. Plus I’ve been fighting a severe case of bronchitis-cum-crud for more than two weeks, including a trip to the ER for coughing that was keeping me sleeping bolt upright far too long. Hope you’re doing better than that…

Monday is Valentine’s Day. A day to treasure yourself and your friends with words and even cards or hearts. Some single women tend to get down because they don’t have romance in their lives on this day. Why surrender to that kind of thinking? Put romance in your own life—take a bath with rose petals. Pour yourself a glass of champagne; treat yourself to a really special chocolate or other fabulous dessert. Seriously, find a really good chocolate shop and buy yourself a couple of favorites. Do it at home alone, or do it with friends—at home or out somewhere. Buy yourself a beautiful piece of lingerie if you love that sort of thing; you will know you’re wearing it. Or even treat yourself to a beautiful new piece of jewelry.

Tree decorated for Valentine's Day in San Dieg...

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But it can be most rewarding to share with your friends. Spend an evening together—talk about all the fun things you do in your lives. Talk about the fun times you’ve had. Plan an excursion together. Surprise each other with thoughtful little gifts. Women are each other’s greatest supports—a day like Valentine’s Day is a perfect time to honor that truth. Who cares what anyone else is doing?

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Barbara Payne, February 10th 2011 | Posted in friendship, Valentine card, Valentine gift, Valentine's Day

A beautiful Valentine idea for all SWWANs and friends

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Thanks for this wonderful idea from Beth Bradfish, single-working-woman publisher of Express Harmonies and owner of Beth Bradfish, Inc. workshops and seminars.

A Heart-made Valentine
February, 2009

“Get out your scissors and paste.” Remember the valentines you made when you were a kid? How much fun was that?!

Here’s a way to do that again with a grown-up twist that promises a powerful impact.

Step 1. Thinking about your loved one, identify his or her three greatest strengths. If you need some words to choose from, try this list from Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness (Simon & Schuster, 2002): curiosity, love of learning, judgment, ingenuity, social intelligence, perspective, value, perseverance, integrity, kindness, loving, citizenship, fairness, leadership, self-control, prudence, humility, appreciation of beauty, gratitude, hope, spirituality, forgiveness, humor and zest.

Step 2. For each of the strengths you choose for your loved one, write down a recent admirable example in which he or she displayed this strength. (See #1 below for an example of what this might look like.)

1. Strength: KINDNESS

Example: Monday, before you left for work, you cleaned the snow and ice off my car windows. That was so kind of you and reminds me of all the kind and thoughtful things you do for me and so many other people.

2. Strength: _________________

Example:

3. Strength: _________________

Example:

Step 3. Draw a nice big red heart around what you’ve written and hand it to your loved one on Valentine’s Day. (And then wait for a big smile to break out!)

“What underlies this exercise is the importance of the ideal self, both in our own mind and in that of our partner. The ideal self is the image we hold of the very best we are capable of, our highest strengths realized and active. When we feel that we are living up to the ideals that we hold most dearly, we are gratified, and exercising these strengths produces more gratification. When our partner sees this as well, we feel validated, and we work harder not to disappoint our partner’s faith in us.” –Martin Selgman from Authentic Happiness.

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Barbara Payne, February 4th 2009 | Posted in Valentine card, Valentine gift, Valentine's Day

Want to star on TV? Opportunity for New York and LA single women

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Oh, how funny. Got an email from a casting director for a new TV show about dating. They say they’re going to give away a great trip, place to stay, etc. in another city–and I guess film your adventures. Here’s what it says:

NEW DATING SPECIAL FOR ABC Media Productions

Are you a woman age 25 to 40 who is successful in every aspect of life except one…finding LOVE? You’re climbing your way up the corporate ladder, have your own boutique business, or manage a hip new start-up company. You play as hard as you work…from the health club to the nightclubs. You’re cute, sexy; maybe even drop dead gorgeous! Yep, you’ve got it all…everything except the RIGHT GUY to share it with.

The men in your life are everywhere. There’s that successful co-worker that’s off limits, your brother’s gorgeous friend who looks at you as if you’re his little sister, and the guy at the gym that’s just not your type. In fact, they surround you…but for whatever reason none of the guys in your very crowded pond are your MR.RIGHT.

You haven’t given up hope that he is out there…somewhere…waiting…maybe even looking for you! If you could only get out of here and go somewhere…anywhere, you know deep in your heart that a new place filled with new people could change everything.

If you believe there is love out there for you, now is the time to throw caution to the wind. A romantic holiday completely planned and organized just for you. We provide the NEW CITY, the NEW DIGS, the NEW GUYS… even the plane ticket. You just have to believe in love…and get on board!

If you want to apply or you want to nominate someone, they want women who live in New York or Los Angeles. To apply or nominate a deserving woman, please submit name, age, occupation, city/ST, and a recent photo to rrcasting@gmail.com.

We don’t normally talk about dating or finding love–there are already plenty of resources out there to help with that. But what the heck, eh? This is a chance to be “discovered” and who knows where that might lead?

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Barbara Payne, January 29th 2009 | Posted in casting director, TV star, Valentine's Day