The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

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Got this in an email from a delightful single mom I know:

Once upon a time, there was a guy and a girl. One day the guy asked the girl, “Will you marry me?”

The girl thought about it and said: “No!”

And the girl went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, cooked only when she wanted to, did whatever the heck she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled, had many lovers, saved money when she felt like it, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore lacy lingerie, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

THE END

Refreshing new take on “happily ever after,” eh?

Women's lives

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Everybody knows that women operate on a different plane than men do. Most of us have the ability to concentrate on many things at once, and most guys don’t. If you’ve ever read any of Dave Barry’s stuff, you may remember the cute illustration he used to make this point. The diagram of the woman’s brain is divided into about 300 separate segments, each labeled with a critical piece of a woman’s life–buy groceries, walk dog, clean carpets, dust, work, read to kids, plan dinner, consider career change, etc. etc.

The guy’s brain is shown segmented into three parts–food, beer, and football–in almost equal measures.

Thanks to the RE:INVENTION blog about marketing to women, we’ve got this tidbit… Executive women–who now make up about 1/3 of all company relocations–typically take longer than men to return to full productivity after the move. I wonder why? I added a little comment over there, too. Enjoy–they’ve got a lot to say.

Planning to have a baby

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A certain percentage of women who are single today will never marry. Some will have long-term relationships and some won’t. Either way, unless they accidentally become pregnant, those who want to have a baby must make a decision at some point to take the plunge into single motherhood.

One single mom I know said she looked around and saw friends not making the decision until their late-30s—and then struggling with fertility issues. She decided she wasn’t waiting that long. If the right guy hadn’t shown up by the time she was 29, she was going for it. She became pregnant immediately via a donor. Then, after the healthiest pregnancy I’ve ever seen—and a delivery that was accomplished completely free of drugs of any kind—she’s now the overjoyed mom of a 9-month-old little girl.

For those who do want to wait, here’s an idea. Got an email the other day from a company called Repromedix. They are marketing a blood/hormone test product that is supposed to help you predict how many eggs you have remaining in your ovaries–considered one important sign of fertility—so you can make a more informed decision about when to try for a pregnancy.

The courage of today’s single women shines as a beacon of strength in our world. Given what many children go through when their parents divorce (1 of every 2 marriages ends this way), I cannot see being born to a single mom as tragic or awful. Too many studies have been done indicating that kids—and this includes boys—with single moms are no worse off socially and emotionally, and may even be far ahead in some measures. Check out Raising Boys: 10 Tips for Single Moms.

For those single women who choose to become moms, my congratulations on your courage. And may you and your children be a lesson in love for all the world to see.

The power of protesting

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Saw something on television last night that—if my guess is correct—restores my faith in the power of speaking up when you see things that aren’t right. Because I can only assume that, since some single women I know noticed it and objected strenuously, there had to be many others who felt the same way.
 
I’m talking about the commercial put out a few months ago by the makers of Zantac, the over-the-counter drug for treating acid indigestion and acid reflux. The commercial starts out with a picture of a woman who looks like hell. In the first part of the video, she’s wearing a baggy black dress, has pouches under her eyes and is holding her stomach. The copy talks about how stomach acid can destroy your life.
 
Then the woman takes her Zantac, and we watch as her world is transformed before our very eyes. She’s magically transported out of her miserable little hovel to a trendy restaurant, where suddenly flowers appear and she’s surrounded by smiling people. She’s even got a belt on now to show us she really is very attractive.
 
But the most astounding—and insulting—part is when the special effects guys swoop into the picture with a little hand (I think that’s what it was–like a genie’s hand I guess) that pulls a handsome, suit-bedecked man out of thin air and places him opposite her at the restaurant table. Copy says something to the effect of, “Now, your life can begin.”
 
I was appalled when I first saw it. Good grief, I thought. Can women never escape the myth that we are nothing without a man? Then, a few days later, another, much younger, single woman friend called me on the phone one night and said, you won’t believe what this commercial just did! I immediately knew exactly the one she was talking about. She, too, was highly insulted by this little scenario.
 
Well, guess what? Last night I saw a Zantac commercial. And they had taken the offending scenes out. Hurray! Enough women spoke up about the crass, prejudiced picture the earlier version presented—and got results. For what it’s worth, maybe we SWWANs should make it a point to find a few minutes to complain to the powers that be every time we notice single women being presented in unflattering and even offensive ways.
 
From small beginnings, great changes come.

Earth Hour – and WOW, what an idea for a business

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Did you turn off your lights last night from 8 to 9 in support of the million-strong Earth-Hour movement to make a statement about global warming? Well, even if you didn’t, if you understand that we humans have the power to make change where it’s needed–to stop consuming so much of our earth’s resources as to leave it ravaged for our great-grandchildren–you can still get involved by changing small things in your daily rituals.

Surprisingly, studies show that leaving electrical appliances (chargers, etc.) plugged in when they’re not in use can increase your energy use by up to 10%!! So that’s an easy one–well, for some of us it might take a bit of thought to realize all the things I do leave plugged in…

And meanwhile, what do you think about the idea of having a business where your role is to provide “art vacations”? To go along with a bunch of interested single women and give them art instruction in places like the North Atlantic seacoast and Galway, Ireland, or in and around a restored monastery in Umbria, Italy? I love this idea that Nina Weiss has developed! You can find out more by visiting her art vacations website and downloading a catalog.

Getting away with the girls is the best

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Ladies, you deserve a vacation with your girlfriends, don’t you? I know I do!

Whether you’re absolutely sure you do, or you need a little encouragement to believe it, check out this great contest put on by Kango. Click on the “Go with the Girls” badge, over on the left of this blog, and vote for me! Your vote will help me maybe win money for a getaway to one of four wonderful destinations.

And of course, while you’re at it, tell ’em why you deserve one, too. And let me know–I’ll vote for you in return!

How do you do it?

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Not enough time. According to a market research study conducted by one of the 800-pound gorillas of the Internet, Yahoo, the Number One issue among women today–be they single, divorced, kids or no kids–is that they don't have enough time.

As a single working woman–let alone a single working mom–you’re already doing all the work for an entire household. If your income isn’t where you’d like it to be, you may not be inclined to invest in paying to have everything done.

But even if you have a great job and/or a lot of child support, you still need to network professionally. Because of course there are no loyalties in the workplace today. You never know when the next outbreak of outplacements may call your number up, regardless of how many years of excellent performance you’ve delivered. And if you happen to be and perhaps especially if you're self-employed, everything goes double–and if you’re single on top of that, you definitely want to make time for a social life.

So what do we do? We wing it. We prioritize on the run. We leave things out. When it gets bad or you’re sick, sometimes we just plain forget things. If you find yourself swimming upstream, you won’t be sorry if you invest a couple of minutes to read our newsletter. In each issue, we feature the useful tips and tricks of one of our founding members, Chris King. We are lucky Chris agreed to let us syndicate her newsletter, Random Tips and Productive Resources. Check out her website, www.creativekeys.net.

And you will find some extremely valuable tips in our interviews on the SWWAN Dive, our Internet radio show where we invite people to share their wisdom and expertise on a multitude of topics.

I promise, these are a couple of things you’ll be glad you found time to do.

Stories that take us away

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When you think about a lot of what's on television these days–murder, gore, sitcoms, and reality shows–and the magical enchantment of the Internet, you might wonder if books have lost their power.

But all you have to do is find a good one and you'll likely be lost to those other blandishments. That's why at SWWAN we are building a database of book (and movie) reviews by single women. If you're anything like me regarding fiction, you may have a hard time knowing what to pick out at the library or at the bookstore. Everyone tends to rely on the blurbs on the cover–but what do we have in common with most of those reviewers? Not much in most cases. And even though we're all wonderfully individual, we thought it might be nice to get a recommendation from a fellow single-woman traveler.

One day we hope to start a star system like with Netflix where you rate for yourself and then they recommend other things you might like. For now we just take your description of the story (and a good quote if you like), and let you judge for yourself. So check out our book and movie reviews page and maybe start your own rating list.

Persevere—it's all that counts

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I walked out of the house yesterday morning and heard a bird singing.

A bird.

I hadn’t been paying attention that the birds weren’t singing lately. So it was a lovely surprise to hear that sound. Do the birds who stay in the temperate zone all year not sing during the really cold weather? Do they, like us, tend to put their little beaks to the grindstone when conditions make it necessary to focus exclusively on surival? Makes sense. I remember noticing this delightful sound on other early-warming days of earlier winters. What a delight.

Birds singing is an early sign of spring…unfailingly they sing, just as hope springs eternal. As we talked about today in the Ladies Who Launch incubator meeting–be like a child, who doesn’t just try to learn to walk, she just keeps falling down and continues until she learns. He doesn’t just try to learn to get his fingers to pick up a tiny button, he keeps on until he can do it.

So don’t just “try” to do what you want, keep on until you succeed.

Valentine's Day – it's not just about dates and mates

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Valentine’s Day is a great time to celebrate your feelings for everyone you love–the children you know (even if they’re yours!), your friends and relatives, co-workers, etc. Bring some joy into the office with Valentine’s Day tokens.

Since we don’t normally talk about dating (there are more than enough of those sites and sources out there), we thought this might be an okay topic for this holiday–for those of you who date. “National database lets women report–and look up–bad guys”

Wouldn’t you like to know if the guy you’re dating is secretly married? Would you like to know ahead of time if they guy who just asked you out has a pattern of trying to get money out of his girlfriends?

Now you may be able to just look him up on the Internet and find out.

She survived enough abuse herself, so Stephany Alexander decided to set up an online database where women could report cruel, nasty, abusive, unfair, cheating and other types of bad behavior on the part of the men they got involved with. Especially useful since guys who do this to one woman often tend to do it to every woman they go out with.

Stephany shared how she got the idea and gave tips on how to keep yourself safe with online dating when we interviewed her for our SWWAN Dive Internet radio show recently. Check it out here.

And here’s another site that gives out official verifications and certifications for your honesty. Of course, these are products you must purchase, but perhaps that’s where we’re coming to in our world. Take a look at HonestyOnline.