Book review: "Eat. Pray. Love"…and while you're at it laugh

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What a story. Gripping true-life story of a woman finding her way out of realizing she doesn’t want a child, then her marriage, then the profound depression she finds herself in. Elizabeth Barrett is a writer (for GQ), and she really knows how to bring you into the story–hook, line, and laughter.

After all this misery the newly single author decides to “find herself” by taking a year off from her job and traveling to three places she’s always wanted to visit: Italy, India, and Indonesia (Bali). Okay, I grant you this is probably not something most of us could easily pull off. But she’s a writer and her editor decides to pay her for this trip if she’ll write a book about it. Whew, what a dream, eh?

Anyway, she eats her way through Italy, practices deep self-discipline in an ashram in India, and learns balance—and falls in love—in Bali. If this type of scenario appeals to you I guarantee you, you will laugh, cry, nod, laugh, and cry some more.

I turned more page corners down in this book than I have in a long time. Here’s is one particularly poignant passage:

“To create a family with a spouse is one of the most fundamental ways a person can find continuity and meaning in American (or any) society. … First you are a child, then you are a teenager, young person, married,parent, retired grandparent. At everry stage you know who you are, you know what your duty is, and you know where to sit at the family reunion” As you sit in the shade watching your progeny, the question “who are you?” is clearly answered–You’re the person who created all this. The satisfaction of this knowledge is immediate, and moreover, it’s universally recognized. “But what if, either by choice or by reluctant necessity, you end up not participating in this comforting cycle…? …You need to find another purpose, another measure by which to judge whether or not you’ve been a successfull human being.”

She says Viriginia Woolf noted that women’s lives have the shadow of a sword across them. On one side is conventionality, on the other confusion. Woolf argues that crossing over to the other side may bring a far more interesting existence to a woman, but it will certainly be a more perilous journey.

What a perfect description for many a single working woman’s life–not easy, definitely not conventional, and often not very comfortable. Remember the line from the movie When Harry Met Sally, when Sally’s best friend lays her head on her fiance’s chest after witnessing Harry and Sally fighting and says, “Promise I’ll never have to be ‘out there’ again.”

Congratulations to all of us single working women for our courage and creativity in passionately living life on the other side of the sword.

Uninsured have medical care options in Chicago

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Was casting about looking for facilities in Chicago that serve uninsured patients and found a nice little collection (list is below). Meanwhile, I ran across this item, too:

AstraZeneca, one of the giants of the pharmaceutical world, recently instituted a program to help low-income individuals and families get free or low-cost medicine. They will supply the medicines to healthcare facilities run by “non-profit organizations that have a licensed outpatient pharmacy or dispensary on site,” among other requirements. Patients should have no prescription drug coverage and have a household income of $30,000 or less for an individual, or $60,000 for a family of four.

This is a small piece of good news for some of the millions of people in the U.S. who are without healthcare coverage—which includes a good percentage of us single working women, some of them moms.

Happy 2008, folks. I hope you had an enjoyable beginning to your year and are fired up for good things to happen all 12 months coming up.

Here’s a list of some of the medical care facilities for the uninsured in Chicago:

Erie West Town Health Center
1701 W. Superior Street
Chicago, IL 60622
(312) 666-3494

Erie Humboldt Park Health Center
2750 W. North Avenue
Chicago, IL 60647
(312) 666-3494

Community Health Clinic – UIC / Northwestern med students volunteer
2611 W. Chicago, 60622
773/395-9808

Pacific Garden Mission Clinic
647 S. State St., 60605
312/922-1462

Pilsen Homeless Health Services
731 West 17th Street, 60616
(312) 243-5226

Rush Community Service Initiatives
1725 W. Harrison, 60612
312/942-8116

St. Basil’s Free People’s Clinic
1850 W. Garfield Blvd., 60609
773/436-4870

Cook County Bureau of Health Services (312) 864-6004
offers guidance on finding medical care

Midwest College of Oriental Medicine – have been known to offer free acupuncture
4334 North Hazel Suite 206
Chicago, Illinois 60613
Telephone: 773-975-1295

Talk to your team!!

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If you’re not used to calling on others when you feel low or lonely, or when you’re stressed or overwhelmed, you’re not the only one. If you’re like a lot of us single working women, you don’t want to bother people. Don’t want to appear needy.

But there’s tons of proof that it’s better for both your immediate sitation and your long-term health to have yourself a team you can call on when the chips aren’t falling your way–and even when they are!

It takes practice to develop the habit of reaching out to those special people. Don’t assume your team knows you need them. Make a point of connecting regularly and always letting them know you appreciate their help.

This is a new practice for me–and I often forget to consult my team. Like yesterday when I got so busy preparing to have a special holiday dinner. Totally forgot to think about connecting with them instead of snacking through the busy-ness.

Well, It’ not new year’s eve but I can resolve today to start reaching out more. Thank God for cell phones that keep your contacts’ info.

What simple thing can you resolve to do today that will enrich your life–and strenthen your connectedness to life?

Tired? Draw the line

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Yes, tiredness is often a chronic state for single working women. We want to do so much! When you don’t have children or a spouse at home, you tend to reach out many evenings for your social life as well as for business/networking. Why do you think people tend to gain weight when they get married? It’s because they get so relaxed! My ex-husband had tried to gain weight all his life (he was pretty scrawny as a kid). Once we got married, he gained 20 lbs. in the first year without even trying! Imagine how much easier it is for us females to gain weight…

Anyway, if you’re tired a lot–and most of us are–here are a few tips.

1. Don’t watch TV in your bedroom. Just use it for sleeping.
2. Don’t drink too much alcohol–some say any at all is bad. It disrupts your sleep patterns and you’ll get less sleep and what you do get will be poorer quality.
3. Listen to your body. If you feel tired at the end of the work day and the choice is between going to that one more networking meeting tonight and skipping it in favor of a good movie, remember that all you can do is all you can do–and it is enough.
4. Keep a book handy that reminds you not to take things too seriously. Find one that fits your beliefs and your comfort zone.

I don’t hold that these will be right for everybody by any means, but here are a few I keep around to transform my attitude: A Course in Miracles (tough reading but fascinating perspectives on every page), Creative Visualization (inspiration for making things happen in your life without killing yourself), The Seat of the Soul (radical stuff in here but some beautiful ideas as well).

Thanks: A story of omission

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It only makes sense to thank the people who help you. And the list of those in my life who’ve helped me is long and stretches many decades back.

It so happens that recently I failed to give due recognition to some people who have helped SWWAN a lot. At the celebrations of Single Working Women’s Week a couple of weeks ago I didn’t mention the advisory board members who have supported our efforts to get this holiday into gear. These generous people are listed and profiled on our website here. Cristina Andersson, Billa Bhandari, George Carpenter, Beatrice Davis, Monica Davis, Perrine Knight, Kathy O’Leary, Frances Richards, and Mike Miller have shown their support and given help and encouragement in a myriad of ways. Thank you all for believing in the mission and vision of SWWAN. And Mary Cilia, fellow NAWBO member and president of MEC Systems, was a great support when SWWAN was in its infancy–thanks, Mary.

And it so happens that I had an opportunity to thank one of these very important people in person at our Chicago event–and I screwed it up. So Beatrice Davis, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind and generous support. Without your encouragement, Single Working Women’s Week might never have happened. You were there when the chips were down and the to-do list looked hopelessly unachievable. Without your sharing of your professional expertise and the great people you know, our event would not have been as successful as it was. Thank you for even getting your client Geir Ness to donate samples of his delightful perfumes from Norway, Laila. Belatedly, on behalf of me personally and of single working women everywhere, thank you.

Please visit Beatrice’s cool online magazine, No Strings Attached ENews, and prepare to be entertained!

Single women: reach out and give without asking back

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Give with your whole heart. Don’t ask for a return. Connect with each other–for business, for all the things we need in life.

That’s what celebrants at last night’s opening event heard from keynote speaker Sharan Tash, owner of The ProNetworker, Inc., NAWBO Chicago director, NSA speaker, and creator of the “pay-it-forward, boomerang networking” concept. Sharan told of how giving from the heart without thought of return always comes back to you tenfold.

As a shining example of practice-what-you-preach, Sharan, SWWAN thanks you for inspiring attendees at this celebration of the first annual Single Working Women’s Week holiday.

Hostess Monica Davis praised single women and single mothers for all they contribute. Thanks to all those who shared in this delightful evening, including sponsors Lynfred Winery and National City Bank. Special thanks to Rebecca Gutermuth, designer of the beautiful SWWAN jewelry line, who hosted the party at her lovely store, Radiance Fine Jewelry.

And special thanks to columnist and authoress Jacquee Thomas whose contributions made the event extra special. Passionate speaking, wine, food, violins, and sharing. It was a beautiful event. For a copy of the event’s program, click here. Photos will be posted as soon as we can get them up!

If you live in Cleveland, please join us for our Cleveland SWWAN party TOMORROW!

Botswana invites women to join forces in business

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Hey, I like this idea! In Botswana they’re having a conference to talk about a “cluster model” as a way to help women/sole proprietors combine forces (and resources) to be able to more effectively conquer their unique business challenges:

  • lack of entrepreneurial skills
  • lack of working capital
  • lack of capacity to deliver large orders
  • lack of promotional strategies, and
  • lack of specialized machinery

all of which can result in

  • poor quality products
  • uncompetitive pricing
  • poor customer service

True for so many women struggling alone to start a business. A representative of the Botswana government talks about the benefits of the cluster approach… “Women entrepreneurs are grouping nowadays but the way they do it is not systematic. The model will assist them to work as business entities as it advocates for separation of functions according to design and marketing as well as production entities.” The structure and discipline of the model will include economies of scale through specialization and improved systems.

Wow. Many single working women entrepreneur-wannabes could use some of that over in the U.S., too. The key over there is that the government is providing the model and the access and the assistance with locating the businesses. Some places in the U.S. have education for women fledgling business owners (Chicago’s Women’s Business Development Center is very good at this). Ladies Who Launch is a private group that works towards the online/community/incubator model.

All I can say is, “More!”

Note: The Republic of Botswana’s tagline is inspiring: Democracy, Development, Self-reliance and Unity. Cool.

Single working women and single working men – a play about a story

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Went to a wonderful play reading today at Chicago Her-Rah, a festival put on by The International Centre for Women Playwrights–3 days of readings held in this wild little venue on North Avenue in Chicago called Around the Coyote.

Heard about this through a new acquaintance whose friend’s was one of the plays being read–a sparkling depiction of the New-York-intellectual-neurotic malfunctioning male/female dynamic that captured the essence of what’s going on between so many men and women today. Depressing kind of, full of angst but also tenderness and lots of humor… Read with only a commentator, no scenery, lights or anything, it was “Manhattan Cassanova” and it was mesmerizing. Remember the playwright’s name: Jenny Lyn Bader.

The festival is a once-a-year event that honors female playwrights everywhere. Wish I’d had time to see a few more. Next year it’s in Roumania. Read more on their website www.internationalwomenplaywrights.org.

Surprise! Retirement dreams fading

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Whether it’s because the baby boomers are all so passionate about contributing to the world–which I suspect is true about lots of us–and/or the fact is that incomes/savings are simply not adding up to “comfortable retirement” sums, the age at which people first retire is fading into the distance. Here’s the scoop from the NAWBO Smart Brief:

The retirement age for U.S. workers is edging up after falling for 100 years. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says 29% of people in their late 60s still have jobs, up from 18% in the mid-1980s. More than 25% of baby boomers plan to never retire, according to a recent survey by the National Association of Realtors.

For many single women this isn’t a surprise. Making 70% of a what a man makes for the same work over a lifetime–and having to pay for so many services that many two-earner households either accomplish on their own or have two incomes from which to pay–cuts pretty seriously into what’s left to put away for savings and retirement. Combine that with the virtual disappearance from many companies of retirement plans and what used to be callled “loyalty” to long-time devoted employees, and you’ve got a vivid picture of people working til old age. As Oprah once said to the financial expert on her After the Show who said people will be working into their eighties, “What’re they gonna be doing? ‘You want fries with that?'”

But since so many single working women have been using their passion and creativity all along to survive and thrive alone against the odds, these longer working years will feel like just another “day in the life.”

Hmmm. Let’s see, I can apply for 50% of my Social Security benefits when I’m 62 and all of it when I’m 66. Check out your eligibility here.

on Motherhood on National Review Online

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They say if you focus on negative things in your writing you’re either a pessimist, a realist or a journalist. Jennifer A. Marshall must be one of those. Her article called “Single on Mother’s Day” is a downer.

SWWAN is all about bringing the day closer when single women won’t be required or even inclined to feel depressed about being single on any holiday.

Starting with our new holiday!! Single Working Women’s Week – first annual is this year, July 29 to August 4, 2007.